"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe."
-Gail Devers
Sometimes life likes to throw you a curveball. You can catch it and let it take you into a new direction, or you can allow it to knock you on your ass. Personally, I like the first option.
All in all, life has been pretty darn good to me. I have a supportive family, as dysfunctional as it may be. I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for - who tolerate my crazy, understand my incoherent texts and outbursts, can practically read my mind, and support the wild streak in me - all while somehow keeping me grounded. I have a wonderful boyfriend who has seen me at my best and at my worst and still thinks the sun shines out my ass. I have a solid job and I've been fortunate enough to work with some extraordinary people. I've had the opportunity to go to academically strong schools and pursue higher education. I've been blessed with all the things I need to stand on my own and make my way in the world.
I've realized recently, though, that I've been running myself absolutely ragged in the last couple of years. I'm tired. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. It's time for a major life overhaul. Now, I absolutely love my life, don't get me wrong. But at the same time, I realize that while life may be short, it's the longest thing I've got, so why not make the best of it? There's no sense in rushing through school and working like a dog when, at the end of the day, I don't feel satisfied. And to be completely honest, I feel most satisfied when I'm baking and I get to see my friends' and family's reactions to my creations, not when I ace an exam or nail an interview. This is precisely why I have decided to take a step back, slow my roll, and finally take care of me for a change.
I still believe strongly in the power of education. While I feel that right now it would be beneficial to my health and overall well-being to either take time off from school for a short while or lighten my course load a bit, I still have every intention of finishing my degree. However, I also believe strongly in chasing your dreams. I dream of doing a lot of things: graduating from college, working in sports entertainment, working in the PR field, getting married, raising a family. But most of all, I dream of someday owning and operating my own super cool bakery-cafe type thing.
I absolutely love to bake, and when I'm baking, I'm happiest. It keeps me sane and I love creating new sweets and treats that my friends and family enjoy. There's nothing better, I think, than making someone smile. I've realized recently that not only am I having a slight love affair with my mixing bowls, I'm also pretty good at baking. I don't want to sound pretentious or anything, but I love the fact that people ask for my recipes and that people who don't even know me think I'm great based on the things that come out of my oven. It's a pretty good feeling when I meet someone for the first time and they hug the shit out of me because they were given one of my cookies. In all honesty, if I could bake every single day for the rest of my life, I would die happy. I hope that someday, preferably before I'm old and senile, I have the ability to open my own bakery-cafe.
This is my vision:
- Brightly colored walls and decor
- Comfortable seating arranged in a way that facilitates community and conversation
- A large glass counter full of my specialties. Each baked good will be of my own recipe and made from scratch daily.
- The people working behind the counter and baking in the back with me will all be friends. It will be a family&friend business, owned and operated.
- Free WiFi for all patrons!
- A friendly and comfortable environment with uplifting music playing overhead, somewhere people will designate as their "spot" to hang out.
- Fruity drinks and coffee beverages on the menu
- Daily specials written on chalkboards
- Suggestion board for patrons to request baked goods
- Unassuming exterior: red brick or white store front with a sign reading "Becca's Sweets and Treats" hanging above the door
In the meantime, though, I'm going to continue to bake eighty cookies at a time in the middle of the night for no reason whatsoever, and consequently become the Cookie Fairy - dropping them off at various locations to the people whose days might need an extra sprinkle of sugar. Sounds like a sweet deal, no?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Pay it Forward
Every time I begin to lose faith in humanity, someone does something to change my mind. Sometimes it's something as simple as holding the door open for me or lending me the penny I'm short at check-out. Sometimes, though, someone goes completely out of their way to do something nice, and I cannot help but smile.
This past Saturday I was at work, much like every other Saturday. This Saturday, though, I was a cashier rather than a CSS, so I naturally had more interaction with customers than normal. A woman came through my line to pay for her groceries and noted her Girl Scout cookies were already paid for. I smiled, and started a conversation with the woman. We discussed our favorite cookies, and I mentioned that mine hadn't come in yet, so I'd be sure to stop by on my way out to buy some from the girls selling them at the door. I finished ringing out and bagging her order. She paid, thanked me, and left. A few minutes later, I was bagging at the register next to me when I saw the woman again. She was coming toward me, with her carriage still full of groceries. I asked if she needed anything. She said, "No, no, but I was just on my way out and the girls were packing up their stuff..." to which I replied, "Aww, alright... next time, I guess," with a half-hearted smile. She cut off the end of my sentence by tossing something to me and saying, "but I got you your favorites. Enjoy!" I looked down at what I had caught - a box of thin mints! My favorite! I thanked her and tried to give her the money for them. She just smiled, told me not to worry about it, and left without another word.
It's so wonderful to know that there are still kind and unselfish people left in this world. It's a breath of fresh air when someone does something out of the kindness of their heart to completely change your day. Nothing could wipe the smile from my face that day. And since then, whenever someone does something that really gets on my nerves, I remember her: I remember her kindness and the way that she took the opportunity to change my day. I haven't seen her since Saturday, and I don't know if I ever will (though it's likely - it's a small town), but I hope that if I can't tell her how she alone changed my outlook on humanity that someone else will. It's this kind of person that the world needs.
Remember to pay it forward. When someone does a random act of kindness for you, I hope that you pass it on and do the same for someone else. It could make their day. Or, it could completely change their perception of humanity. Don't be afraid to be extra kind, thoughtful, or sensitive to someone. Don't be afraid to hold the door or lend a penny. It's the little things that matter most.
This past Saturday I was at work, much like every other Saturday. This Saturday, though, I was a cashier rather than a CSS, so I naturally had more interaction with customers than normal. A woman came through my line to pay for her groceries and noted her Girl Scout cookies were already paid for. I smiled, and started a conversation with the woman. We discussed our favorite cookies, and I mentioned that mine hadn't come in yet, so I'd be sure to stop by on my way out to buy some from the girls selling them at the door. I finished ringing out and bagging her order. She paid, thanked me, and left. A few minutes later, I was bagging at the register next to me when I saw the woman again. She was coming toward me, with her carriage still full of groceries. I asked if she needed anything. She said, "No, no, but I was just on my way out and the girls were packing up their stuff..." to which I replied, "Aww, alright... next time, I guess," with a half-hearted smile. She cut off the end of my sentence by tossing something to me and saying, "but I got you your favorites. Enjoy!" I looked down at what I had caught - a box of thin mints! My favorite! I thanked her and tried to give her the money for them. She just smiled, told me not to worry about it, and left without another word.
It's so wonderful to know that there are still kind and unselfish people left in this world. It's a breath of fresh air when someone does something out of the kindness of their heart to completely change your day. Nothing could wipe the smile from my face that day. And since then, whenever someone does something that really gets on my nerves, I remember her: I remember her kindness and the way that she took the opportunity to change my day. I haven't seen her since Saturday, and I don't know if I ever will (though it's likely - it's a small town), but I hope that if I can't tell her how she alone changed my outlook on humanity that someone else will. It's this kind of person that the world needs.
Remember to pay it forward. When someone does a random act of kindness for you, I hope that you pass it on and do the same for someone else. It could make their day. Or, it could completely change their perception of humanity. Don't be afraid to be extra kind, thoughtful, or sensitive to someone. Don't be afraid to hold the door or lend a penny. It's the little things that matter most.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Life is a highway, and I'm gonna ride it...
I've neglected this for a month and a half now. When, exactly, did it become okay to have your days so jam-packed that you couldn't find even ten minutes to write a blog post. It's certainly not that I haven't had anything to talk about; it's actually quite the opposite. I just don't have time to blog much anymore. Tonight, though... tonight, I'm taking a short break from the mound of schoolwork and internship applications to talk about something that's been driving me to near insanity these last couple of weeks: restlessness.
Life's funny. I've been absolutely swamped with work since the semester started. I've been getting sleep at the most random hours, going to bed well after 3am on a regular basis, and typing out paper after paper with such fervor that my fingers get tired. Even with such a ridiculous amount of work piled up around me, I feel restless. I'm bored with my life. I need an adventure. Don't get me wrong, I love my life: the people in it are incredible, my job is pretty good to me, and I'm showing academia who's boss. But the problem I'm having is that for the last 19 years, 7 months, and 3 days, I've hardly known anywhere outside of Rhode Island. Sure, I've taken road trips all over New England and visited most of the states on/near the east coast, but I'm ready to leave for an extended period of time.
I've been applying for internships all over creation for the sole reason that I can no longer tolerate living, working, and going to school in Rhode Island. I'm just sick of it. I know that there are so many opportunities for me outside of Rhody. I love Rhody, don't get me wrong, but I'm ready to spread my wings a bit. I'm beyond ready to find my place in the world and make a name for myself. I am so ready, in fact, that I have taken to the idea of relocating to the other side of the country. Really, though, I'll go wherever I can find a good internship, not just for the position, but for the adventure of living in a new place knowing no one.
Looking into the future a bit, here's how my life is going to go:
This summer: internship. Boston, Conneticut, New Jersey, Washington DC, California... Rhode Island as a last resort.
This fall: study abroad in Florence, Italy. Byebye, America. I'll spend time in England and probably a few other European countries in the four months I'll be abroad.
Spring 2011: Hello stress. Last full semester of college. 18 credits. Commencement in May.
Summer 2011: last college class ever... most likely online, too. Byebye, academia. New job, hopefully... for that matter, hopefully outside of Rhode Island.
Fall 2011: first fall since 1994 that didn't involve a classroom, textbooks, and homework. First fall as a part of the rat race. First fall entirely on my own, likely in a place where I know next to no one.
The best part of all this? I cannot wait. I'm not afraid of being lonely. I'm not afraid I won't like it wherever I end up. I'm ready for an adventure. I'm ready to meet new people, discover new places, and put everything I've learned over the last 20 years or so to the test. There's a restlessness inside me that I cannot ignore. I'm going to follow my heart and follow my dreams. I'll let them guide me. I won't take a map. After all, life is a journey, isn't it?
Life's funny. I've been absolutely swamped with work since the semester started. I've been getting sleep at the most random hours, going to bed well after 3am on a regular basis, and typing out paper after paper with such fervor that my fingers get tired. Even with such a ridiculous amount of work piled up around me, I feel restless. I'm bored with my life. I need an adventure. Don't get me wrong, I love my life: the people in it are incredible, my job is pretty good to me, and I'm showing academia who's boss. But the problem I'm having is that for the last 19 years, 7 months, and 3 days, I've hardly known anywhere outside of Rhode Island. Sure, I've taken road trips all over New England and visited most of the states on/near the east coast, but I'm ready to leave for an extended period of time.
I've been applying for internships all over creation for the sole reason that I can no longer tolerate living, working, and going to school in Rhode Island. I'm just sick of it. I know that there are so many opportunities for me outside of Rhody. I love Rhody, don't get me wrong, but I'm ready to spread my wings a bit. I'm beyond ready to find my place in the world and make a name for myself. I am so ready, in fact, that I have taken to the idea of relocating to the other side of the country. Really, though, I'll go wherever I can find a good internship, not just for the position, but for the adventure of living in a new place knowing no one.
Looking into the future a bit, here's how my life is going to go:
This summer: internship. Boston, Conneticut, New Jersey, Washington DC, California... Rhode Island as a last resort.
This fall: study abroad in Florence, Italy. Byebye, America. I'll spend time in England and probably a few other European countries in the four months I'll be abroad.
Spring 2011: Hello stress. Last full semester of college. 18 credits. Commencement in May.
Summer 2011: last college class ever... most likely online, too. Byebye, academia. New job, hopefully... for that matter, hopefully outside of Rhode Island.
Fall 2011: first fall since 1994 that didn't involve a classroom, textbooks, and homework. First fall as a part of the rat race. First fall entirely on my own, likely in a place where I know next to no one.
The best part of all this? I cannot wait. I'm not afraid of being lonely. I'm not afraid I won't like it wherever I end up. I'm ready for an adventure. I'm ready to meet new people, discover new places, and put everything I've learned over the last 20 years or so to the test. There's a restlessness inside me that I cannot ignore. I'm going to follow my heart and follow my dreams. I'll let them guide me. I won't take a map. After all, life is a journey, isn't it?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
It's Your Life
The next month or so should be intense. Classes are starting again on Monday, and with no more than four semesters left of college, I am more than excited to get back to the old grind. It'll be difficult, as I'm again balancing an over-sized course load with work and a social life, but it'll be so worth it. Add to the excitement of a new semester a new relationship with a wonderful guy, Monty Are I's acoustic show on January 30th, possibly the Joe Perry Project on February 6th, PostSecret on February 12th, Vanna on the 13th, Starting Over Tuesday on Valentine's Day, and a hockey game on the 19th, and you have yourself one very enthusiastic and positive girl.
Having a positive attitude is important. The more positive you are, the more likely you are to accomplish your goals and achieve everything you dream. It's fact, studied and proved by behavioral analysts. I wake up every day and decide that it's a good day. Why? Because I'm alive. I'm breathing. I have everything I need. Sure, there are obstacles in my way. I have huge dreams and high ambitions. I know that the most worthwhile things in life never come easily, but that's alright. I'm willing to work for these things.
It bothers me that people often throw themselves pity parties because they don't seem to understand that not only can we choose the light in which we see the world, but also our own destiny. The world is not going to change itself; nor is it going to give itself to you. Your dreams will not fulfill themselves. Things will not just fall in your lap. YOU must get off your lazy rear end and change things for yourself. You are the only one who can fulfill your dreams. There is no sense in whining about what's going wrong; it won't change a thing. Instead, figure out where the real problem lies and do something about it. You are capable. Choose to acknowledge that.
Having a positive attitude is important. The more positive you are, the more likely you are to accomplish your goals and achieve everything you dream. It's fact, studied and proved by behavioral analysts. I wake up every day and decide that it's a good day. Why? Because I'm alive. I'm breathing. I have everything I need. Sure, there are obstacles in my way. I have huge dreams and high ambitions. I know that the most worthwhile things in life never come easily, but that's alright. I'm willing to work for these things.
It bothers me that people often throw themselves pity parties because they don't seem to understand that not only can we choose the light in which we see the world, but also our own destiny. The world is not going to change itself; nor is it going to give itself to you. Your dreams will not fulfill themselves. Things will not just fall in your lap. YOU must get off your lazy rear end and change things for yourself. You are the only one who can fulfill your dreams. There is no sense in whining about what's going wrong; it won't change a thing. Instead, figure out where the real problem lies and do something about it. You are capable. Choose to acknowledge that.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Perfect Strangers
I cannot help but wonder sometimes if there is a greater power... a power that controls our lives to some extent and guides us along the way. I'm not the religious type, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason and that the people in our lives are there with purpose. I believe that each and every one of us is here to achieve something, no matter how great or small it may seem.
There are people I meet and I wonder how it's even possible that our paths collided. With hardly anything in common at the surface aside from a mutual friend or two, it's difficult to understand right away why we become involved in the lives of the people we do. We choose to let certain people into our lives, usually with little to go on besides a first impression. Why, though? Why should I allow a perfect stranger into my life and give him my time, let alone my trust? That's just it, though. These people are perfect strangers. They somehow fit into our lives just right. We are drawn to them for one reason or another. In time, we may fall into a perfect harmony with them and they will follow us through our lives as friends or as lovers. It amazes me, though, that in this great big world with millions of people, we find the right ones for us. We somehow manage to find the individuals who will influence us, move us, change us, love us. How? Chance? Fate? A greater being?
There are people I meet and I wonder how it's even possible that our paths collided. With hardly anything in common at the surface aside from a mutual friend or two, it's difficult to understand right away why we become involved in the lives of the people we do. We choose to let certain people into our lives, usually with little to go on besides a first impression. Why, though? Why should I allow a perfect stranger into my life and give him my time, let alone my trust? That's just it, though. These people are perfect strangers. They somehow fit into our lives just right. We are drawn to them for one reason or another. In time, we may fall into a perfect harmony with them and they will follow us through our lives as friends or as lovers. It amazes me, though, that in this great big world with millions of people, we find the right ones for us. We somehow manage to find the individuals who will influence us, move us, change us, love us. How? Chance? Fate? A greater being?
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Close Your Eyes; Feel Instead.
I know, I know... fourth one tonight. What can I say? I'm on a roll.
"You closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too-even when you are in the dark. Even when you're falling." - Tuesdays With Morrie
Above is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books. The book is my favorite for a reason. Sometimes, you really do just have to close your eyes and feel something to believe that it's there. You cannot see love, but you certainly feel it, especially when you close your eyes. Remove the tangible, the visible, the definite, and you will find everything you've been looking for. You'll find love, trust, and honesty. You'll also find heartache, lies, and worry. The most real things are the things you feel when you close your eyes. They may not be perfectly apparent to the eye, but to the soul they are undeniable.
The topic of trust is, well, an interesting one to discuss. Trust has to be a mutual thing. Without trust, you have nothing. Trust and love go hand-in-hand. You cannot truly love someone until you establish trust with him or her. Trust cannot be given; it must be earned. Trust is honest. To truly trust someone is to believe that he or she will always be there to catch you when you fall, to support you even on your worst days, and to never betray you.
That's the thing, though, with trust. You put your complete faith in someone, hoping that this person will never give up on you or let you crash and burn. Most people will eventually let you down, and yet you continue to trust in others. Perhaps, as human beings, we are gluttons for punishments. Perhaps we are hopeful. Perhaps we know that eventually there will be that one person who will not let us down. It's that person to whom each of us will finally give ourselves fully. It is that person you will see and feel when you close your eyes. It is then, with your eyes closed and your heart open, that you will find everything you didn't even know you were looking for and you will realize just how worthwhile it was to overcome all those obstacles along the way.
"You closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too-even when you are in the dark. Even when you're falling." - Tuesdays With Morrie
Above is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books. The book is my favorite for a reason. Sometimes, you really do just have to close your eyes and feel something to believe that it's there. You cannot see love, but you certainly feel it, especially when you close your eyes. Remove the tangible, the visible, the definite, and you will find everything you've been looking for. You'll find love, trust, and honesty. You'll also find heartache, lies, and worry. The most real things are the things you feel when you close your eyes. They may not be perfectly apparent to the eye, but to the soul they are undeniable.
The topic of trust is, well, an interesting one to discuss. Trust has to be a mutual thing. Without trust, you have nothing. Trust and love go hand-in-hand. You cannot truly love someone until you establish trust with him or her. Trust cannot be given; it must be earned. Trust is honest. To truly trust someone is to believe that he or she will always be there to catch you when you fall, to support you even on your worst days, and to never betray you.
That's the thing, though, with trust. You put your complete faith in someone, hoping that this person will never give up on you or let you crash and burn. Most people will eventually let you down, and yet you continue to trust in others. Perhaps, as human beings, we are gluttons for punishments. Perhaps we are hopeful. Perhaps we know that eventually there will be that one person who will not let us down. It's that person to whom each of us will finally give ourselves fully. It is that person you will see and feel when you close your eyes. It is then, with your eyes closed and your heart open, that you will find everything you didn't even know you were looking for and you will realize just how worthwhile it was to overcome all those obstacles along the way.
Those Were The Days...
There are some parts of my childhood that I will never be too old to enjoy. Oreos, for example, are still my favorite store-bought cookie, but only if they're double-stuffed and paired with a glass of milk. Swings still make me feel like I can fly, but it hurts more to hit the ground than I remember as a child. I'd still kill for a cup of hot chocolate topped with marshmallows after playing in the snow. Man, those were the days.
It's funny how as we get older, we seem to feel that we are no longer allowed to enjoy the things we loved as kids. In reality, though, we are every age we've ever been. We grow older, yes, and we experience new things in time that make us mature into adults, but you cannot tell me there is not a child still within you. You cannot honestly tell me that in your adult life you have never had the urge to jump in a pile of leaves or make a snowman, or that you don't miss feeling uninhibited by life and consequences every now and again. What about your favorite cocktail? It's basically kool-aid for big kids. You like it because it's tasty despite its complete lack of nutritional value. We may have degrees, jobs, and bills, but we still enjoy the little things - sneaking a cookie before dinner, sliding down the biggest slide at the playground in the middle of the night, and the snow angels we make with the little ones we love. We are, believe it or not, still kids at heart.
It's funny how as we get older, we seem to feel that we are no longer allowed to enjoy the things we loved as kids. In reality, though, we are every age we've ever been. We grow older, yes, and we experience new things in time that make us mature into adults, but you cannot tell me there is not a child still within you. You cannot honestly tell me that in your adult life you have never had the urge to jump in a pile of leaves or make a snowman, or that you don't miss feeling uninhibited by life and consequences every now and again. What about your favorite cocktail? It's basically kool-aid for big kids. You like it because it's tasty despite its complete lack of nutritional value. We may have degrees, jobs, and bills, but we still enjoy the little things - sneaking a cookie before dinner, sliding down the biggest slide at the playground in the middle of the night, and the snow angels we make with the little ones we love. We are, believe it or not, still kids at heart.
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