I've neglected this for a month and a half now. When, exactly, did it become okay to have your days so jam-packed that you couldn't find even ten minutes to write a blog post. It's certainly not that I haven't had anything to talk about; it's actually quite the opposite. I just don't have time to blog much anymore. Tonight, though... tonight, I'm taking a short break from the mound of schoolwork and internship applications to talk about something that's been driving me to near insanity these last couple of weeks: restlessness.
Life's funny. I've been absolutely swamped with work since the semester started. I've been getting sleep at the most random hours, going to bed well after 3am on a regular basis, and typing out paper after paper with such fervor that my fingers get tired. Even with such a ridiculous amount of work piled up around me, I feel restless. I'm bored with my life. I need an adventure. Don't get me wrong, I love my life: the people in it are incredible, my job is pretty good to me, and I'm showing academia who's boss. But the problem I'm having is that for the last 19 years, 7 months, and 3 days, I've hardly known anywhere outside of Rhode Island. Sure, I've taken road trips all over New England and visited most of the states on/near the east coast, but I'm ready to leave for an extended period of time.
I've been applying for internships all over creation for the sole reason that I can no longer tolerate living, working, and going to school in Rhode Island. I'm just sick of it. I know that there are so many opportunities for me outside of Rhody. I love Rhody, don't get me wrong, but I'm ready to spread my wings a bit. I'm beyond ready to find my place in the world and make a name for myself. I am so ready, in fact, that I have taken to the idea of relocating to the other side of the country. Really, though, I'll go wherever I can find a good internship, not just for the position, but for the adventure of living in a new place knowing no one.
Looking into the future a bit, here's how my life is going to go:
This summer: internship. Boston, Conneticut, New Jersey, Washington DC, California... Rhode Island as a last resort.
This fall: study abroad in Florence, Italy. Byebye, America. I'll spend time in England and probably a few other European countries in the four months I'll be abroad.
Spring 2011: Hello stress. Last full semester of college. 18 credits. Commencement in May.
Summer 2011: last college class ever... most likely online, too. Byebye, academia. New job, hopefully... for that matter, hopefully outside of Rhode Island.
Fall 2011: first fall since 1994 that didn't involve a classroom, textbooks, and homework. First fall as a part of the rat race. First fall entirely on my own, likely in a place where I know next to no one.
The best part of all this? I cannot wait. I'm not afraid of being lonely. I'm not afraid I won't like it wherever I end up. I'm ready for an adventure. I'm ready to meet new people, discover new places, and put everything I've learned over the last 20 years or so to the test. There's a restlessness inside me that I cannot ignore. I'm going to follow my heart and follow my dreams. I'll let them guide me. I won't take a map. After all, life is a journey, isn't it?